Quo Vadis

Why is my life so boring?Why do I getup in the morning and have a headache?......... Why is it that I don't like to hang around with friends any more, considering until few years back it came naturally to me¦..Why do I think so much and feel as if all my energies drained out. Why do I feel fatigued? Why do I feel hopeless?....................... Why do I feel so unloved? Where am I headed?...................................

Today, I woke in the morning to ask myself these questions.I thought I am losing my ground, I was feeling very depressed. I was wondering: what I am doing with my life. I have already lived half of my life if considering I live till sixty, and here, I get up one morning, head achy from too much thinking over night, pondering over whats wrong with me and my life.

Then I realized I don't have a reason-to live. I don't look forward to being somebody, one day, whom I idolize. I didn't have a purpose in life.I wondered why it is so important to have a purpose in life to live.It took few days more to realize why.
I was reading news online when I came across the news of a suicide bomber in Pakistan blowing himself up in a busy market.There was nothing new here, I have read so many times, the news of similar kind in newspapers, but that day, fresh from my depression and questioning the ideals of life made me wonder why and how can someone kill himself for something as unromantic and illogical as religious fundamentalism.

How can killing oneself be a persons ultimate goal in life?

What does the person get out of it? Whats that powerful motivation, which pulls someone to that level?......

After much thinking, I decided religious extremism or national extremism.¦ Gives purpose to otherwise un-purposeful life of thousands of humans. Its a release valve for tensions within a person, and questions pertaining life.

I started visualizing about a middle aged man, highly educated and intelligent, placed in good level in social hierarchy having a supportive family and everything one could ask for, joining an terrorist organization,leaving all his wealth, society, family aside.

What would have motivated such a life changing move?.......

Only one rationale I could come up with.

It gave the man in question- a purpose in life, to live. It gave him- Ideology to die for.It made him feel important and his life important for a cause.

So. How important is it to have a purpose in life?I think that's the most important necessity in life..Otherwise life seems so meaningless.
Having a purpose in life-If the above man had a better purpose in life,he would be a different man.. A life saving physician .a great painter, a great engineer .a great philosopher.a great humanitarian.

Now I am convinced, its sometimes dangerous, to not have a purpose in life. It could lead to disastrous consequences in societies, if it didn't provide its citizens something worthwhile to die for..

I am searching for the purpose of my life, .and I think I have many choices to make and lots to chose from. Life is full of options.We just need to know-where to look.