When H.L Mencken came up with the very famous quote "Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.", the women community started calling him,"Mencken the Chicken". The author of this blog is a bachelor all his life (so far). This post is an attempt by him to prove to the rest of the world that a bachelor life is the greatest boon to Mankind.
Recently I spoke to one of my chaddi friend. Living in geographically opposite direction (north and south of India) I invited him to my place since he has never been to this part of the country where as i had been to his place just six months back. He replied that since I was a bachelor its easy for me to travel to his place.Thankfully we were speaking over phone. Had we been face to face I would have surely have taken few bullets and hammered it down his head (I don't have a gun so i have to nail down the bullet). Go for a house and they will only rent it only to a bachelor,even my housing society charges 300 bucks extra as maintenance charge from bachelor even though most of the time our house is locked. Why this discrimination? We the bachelors are being treated as second class citizen in our own country.
Recently I spoke to one of my chaddi friend. Living in geographically opposite direction (north and south of India) I invited him to my place since he has never been to this part of the country where as i had been to his place just six months back. He replied that since I was a bachelor its easy for me to travel to his place.Thankfully we were speaking over phone. Had we been face to face I would have surely have taken few bullets and hammered it down his head (I don't have a gun so i have to nail down the bullet). Go for a house and they will only rent it only to a bachelor,even my housing society charges 300 bucks extra as maintenance charge from bachelor even though most of the time our house is locked. Why this discrimination? We the bachelors are being treated as second class citizen in our own country.
Disclaimer:
1) All the statements made in this post is from the personal experiences of the author and the author has no intention to hurt the sentiments of non-bachelors/spinster men and women.
2) Please do not attempt any of the tricks below if you are married. There is a high risk of you being called a Divorcee rather than a Bachelor if any attempt is made.
Additional Disclaimer: This post can be understood by people who have shared rooms with with some creatures called friends when they were bachelors.
A dozen reasons why a Bachelor life is a boon to mankind
1) A bachelor can make the rules at home. It doesn't really matter, if the toilet seat is up or down. It doesn't even really matter even if the toilet doesn't have a seat.similarly the kitchen is exactly not the place where cooking happens. A kitchen can be used for ironing clothes,washing clothes and sometimes used as the dining room.
2) A bachelor's bedroom will essentially have the following objects - A broken comb with strands of hair in it, A pillow cover that was washed a year ago, A bed sheet that serves the dual purpose of a hand towel also, a mobile phone under the pillow,a few notebooks that is full of stories/poetry puked by the bachelor, a nylon string guitar which of course has a G-string too,socks on the tube light, underwear on the fan, a laptop that is never booted for more than a month,a computer box without cover with additional hard drive hanging on the sides, worn clothes lying on the floor, a pair of jeans on the hanger( This jean is worn by the bachelor when ever he leaves the house),a toothpaste-tube without the cap, a toothbrush which has bristles that look similar to Hitler's moustache,DVDs without the DVD cover and many more dynamic objects. A married man doesn't have such a privilege to have a bedroom like this.
3)A bachelor doesn't really need to return to the same house every night. He can crash down at his friend's house and he doesn't really need a bed to sleep. All he needs is a torn pillow shared by three people.He can go to work from his friend's place too. A house of the friend of a bachelor looks similar to the bachelor's house. In the same way A bachelor is a man who comes to work each morning from a different direction.
4) A bachelor can have as many girl friends as he can (at least in his dreams, if he is less talented like me). A bachelor is like an average Indian Cricket fan - He knows everything about the game and he can talk for hours about the game. But when you give him a bat, he will be bowled the very first ball.
5) Bachelors are extremely good cooks and are free to experiment without having to worry about any criticism.(But have a natural tendency to forget all their cooking skills once they get married.)
6) When a Bachelor smiles, you can clearly say that it is a Real smile.When a married man smiles, you know that he is faking it.
7) A bachelor is free to invite their friends back home, throw a party, Booze on his own bed, smoke on his chair.(I can still remember the happiness on my friends face when we boozed on his bed after a gap of two long years - of course his wife was away)
8) Great people are bachelors.{Eg - Harsh (My four year old nephew), Me, Atal Bihari Bajpey (Former Indian PM) and Abdul Kalam (Former Indian President)}
9) A bachelor does not need to wake up with that same scared look on his face. My friend is married for the last two years and he says that when ever he wakes up from his sleep, he gets a scare. He said,"Even the most beautiful woman in the world would look like a witch when she gets up from bed; Her hair will be all over the place and even the mouth of an angel stinks like that of the rear end of a cow in the morning". I said to him that I was not aware of this. So if you are a married man please tell me whether my friend was speaking the truth.
10) Bachelors need not wear the miniature hand-cuffs (popularly called Wedding rings). So they can continue with their daily cores without any interference.
11) They don't have to remember anniversaries and are spared of the consequences of forgetting a marriage anniversary.
12) Last but not the least "Married people do not Qualify for a bachelor's party".
And finally the signing note "Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. "
And here is the bachelor anthem.
2) A bachelor's bedroom will essentially have the following objects - A broken comb with strands of hair in it, A pillow cover that was washed a year ago, A bed sheet that serves the dual purpose of a hand towel also, a mobile phone under the pillow,a few notebooks that is full of stories/poetry puked by the bachelor, a nylon string guitar which of course has a G-string too,socks on the tube light, underwear on the fan, a laptop that is never booted for more than a month,a computer box without cover with additional hard drive hanging on the sides, worn clothes lying on the floor, a pair of jeans on the hanger( This jean is worn by the bachelor when ever he leaves the house),a toothpaste-tube without the cap, a toothbrush which has bristles that look similar to Hitler's moustache,DVDs without the DVD cover and many more dynamic objects. A married man doesn't have such a privilege to have a bedroom like this.
3)A bachelor doesn't really need to return to the same house every night. He can crash down at his friend's house and he doesn't really need a bed to sleep. All he needs is a torn pillow shared by three people.He can go to work from his friend's place too. A house of the friend of a bachelor looks similar to the bachelor's house. In the same way A bachelor is a man who comes to work each morning from a different direction.
4) A bachelor can have as many girl friends as he can (at least in his dreams, if he is less talented like me). A bachelor is like an average Indian Cricket fan - He knows everything about the game and he can talk for hours about the game. But when you give him a bat, he will be bowled the very first ball.
5) Bachelors are extremely good cooks and are free to experiment without having to worry about any criticism.(But have a natural tendency to forget all their cooking skills once they get married.)
6) When a Bachelor smiles, you can clearly say that it is a Real smile.When a married man smiles, you know that he is faking it.
7) A bachelor is free to invite their friends back home, throw a party, Booze on his own bed, smoke on his chair.(I can still remember the happiness on my friends face when we boozed on his bed after a gap of two long years - of course his wife was away)
8) Great people are bachelors.{Eg - Harsh (My four year old nephew), Me, Atal Bihari Bajpey (Former Indian PM) and Abdul Kalam (Former Indian President)}
9) A bachelor does not need to wake up with that same scared look on his face. My friend is married for the last two years and he says that when ever he wakes up from his sleep, he gets a scare. He said,"Even the most beautiful woman in the world would look like a witch when she gets up from bed; Her hair will be all over the place and even the mouth of an angel stinks like that of the rear end of a cow in the morning". I said to him that I was not aware of this. So if you are a married man please tell me whether my friend was speaking the truth.
10) Bachelors need not wear the miniature hand-cuffs (popularly called Wedding rings). So they can continue with their daily cores without any interference.
11) They don't have to remember anniversaries and are spared of the consequences of forgetting a marriage anniversary.
12) Last but not the least "Married people do not Qualify for a bachelor's party".
And finally the signing note "Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. "
And here is the bachelor anthem.
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